Sunday, August 22, 2010
It was one of those days on the Internet - one click leads to another...and there is this recipe for Pimm's Cup? And we thought it was something that was only purchased.
Here's the recipe:
The most refreshing summer tipples
I’ve been making this since my student days. Then, I used the cheapest bottles I could lay my hands on, but a gin of at least 40% abv and decent vermouth and liqueur make a difference to the taste — and it should still be cheaper than shop- bought Pimm’s.
Garnish with restraint; it doesn’t need the whole fruit bowl.
70cl gin (40% abv) 7
0cl-75cl red vermouth
37.5cl orange liqueur (preferably curaçao or triple sec)
Lemonade or ginger ale, chilled
We like the story. It couldn't be more simple. The ingredients are practically pantry staples. We broke out the channel knife (or zester) to contribute orange, lemon, and lime peels. Added three thin slices of English cucumber. The proportions:
1 part gin
1 part sweet vermouth
1/2 part Cointreau
Ice, attractive lengths of orange, lemon, and lime peels, slices of cucumber
Top with ginger ale.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I’m not saying because I iron my boxers that I expect everyone to do this. Ironing boxers is just a way to get everything to lie flat, and to bring just a teeny amount of order into an untidy life.
This is the complicated version of a straightforward Bourbon and Ginger. It can be garnished with a strip of lemon or orange zest, but I’ve found garnishing with an apple slice can really wake it up.
It’s also not something that lends itself to being sucked down quickly - a nice companion for a lazy afternoon of laundry.
Ginger Simple Syrup
½ cup white sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 cup water
¼ cup fresh grated ginger
Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan. Bring water to a simmer. When sugar is dissolved and ginger is fragrant, remove from heat and allow to cool. Strain out ginger. Can be refrigerated - in a scrupulously clean container - for several weeks.
1 ounce Ginger Simple Syrup
2 ounces whiskey
dash of bitters
Combine simple syrup and whiskey in a tumbler. Add ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with restraint.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
An old superstition says you should never give your name to a stranger. This stranger may be some sort of magician, or witch, who can summon Dark Forces against you, just because they know your name.
T S Eliot said cats have three names: The name it is given, the name it acquires, and the name you will never guess.
.Which name did Vickie Lynn Marshall give out during her odd, complicated life?
The cocktail in question is named after Sugar Pie, the miniature poodle seen in the first season of the Anna Nicole Smith show. It's very pretty, and fancy in its own way - the color is, of course, that of the
1 part Absolut Mandarin
1/2 part Blue Curacao
1 part fresh pineapple juice
Shake vigorously in a cocktail shaker, decant into a cocktail glass whose rim has first been dipped in blue curacao and then an equal mix of salt and sugar.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Note: this is a work of speculative fiction. No actual fired CEOs of banks were hung over in the Drinky Test Kitchen for this work.
It's been a bad week, OK? A bad, bad week. Another crack about putting your money under the mattress and I will punch you in the throat. I mean it. I'LL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR GODDAMNED THROAT, MAN.
Really: it's been a bad - Jesus. I don't know. It's been bad for a while. There is nothing in the house. I just get up on Saturday and go out to breakfast. And there's this couple catching up on their lives so far. Price of gas, flirting on public transit. LIKE I CARE? These are - I know this is going to make me sound like the biggest tool but: these are Little People.
"Oh, and I forgot to tell you, " the guy says. "My bank got sold."
"Sold?" she says. "I think you left something out of that story: your bank was SEIZED and then it was sold!"
They are nearly apoplectic with their own jokes: about how they don't have to worry because their deposits fall well under the $100,000 FDIC insurance threshhold (like I said: Little People), making "seizure" jokes, something about a new Ashton Kutcher series called "Seiz'd" (as in: "dude, you've been SEIZ'D!!").
Like they wouldn't have gobbled up sub-prime loans like they were a pile of delicious pancakes - with a side of bacon - if they'd had the means, at the time.
I leave. Are you going to get on me now about how much I tipped? I had a seizure this week. Do you WANT me to punch you in the throat?
Oh. I told you there wasn't anything in the house, right?
The beer, the wine, the gin, the vodka, the Scotch? All gone. It's been a rough week. The Goddamned CAMPARI was gone by Thursday. Who drinks GODDAMNED CAMPARI? It's Saturday afternoon and I'd be downing cough syrup if I hadn't already emptied the medicine cabinet on Friday night (note to self: wild cherry Vicks and Sprite is...interesting...but not for the Executive Pay Grade).
What is left? Dregs. Lots and lots of dregs. And? Goldschläger.
Who doesn't have a bottle of this in the back of the cupboard, or under the sink? And what A FUNNY GIFT to give to the CEO of a bank! The bottle is dusty as Hell. I think an ounce was consumed before today: I poured out a shot and everyone at the party tasted it. What does it taste like? A cinnamon Tic-Tac. I assume poor people think it's fancy. I swear: it's all that's left.
But it's been a really, really bad week.
1 shot of assorted liquors (whatever can be drained from the bottles in the recycling bin)
1 strong pour of Goldschläger
Pour over ice in the biggest glass you have. Top with left over 7-Up. At least you have a golden parachute.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Bulleit bourbon is smooth as can be, and light, too. The impression is that of a warm sweet breath on your cheek. Bud Ice is very clean - but this isn't going to be something you chug. Take your time, sweet pea.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
It is a novelty beverage. If you are going to consume it, you should serve it over a lot of crushed ice and drink it through a straw. It has been reported to make trips through the mall during the Holiday Season a little more bearable.
The beer and a bump is an old staple. You have a shot of liquor (usually whiskey or bourbon) with a beer chaser.
The ingredients for this drink must be purchased with a fake ID in the next county. If necessary, you can ask your girlfriend's uncle to buy them. Be warned: this drink may lead you down a dangerous and uncomfortable path. The combination of Crown Royal (more classy than Jack Daniel - but not, like, faggy) chased back with green Tilt can make you forget you're in the Frozen North. It can make you forget how your girlfriend's mom WENT OFF on her uncle when he got divorced from your girlfriend's aunt.
Other things you can forget:
A couple of these and all the rough edges will be smoothed away. Cheeks will flush, the northern lights will pop and fizz overhead. A couple more and there is no future, just now. The now tastes medicinal and like the color bright green, and the inside of your cheeks are dry. The now is a flurry of groping and parkas and Totino's Pizza Rolls.
The Li'l Bastard can lead to a li'l bastard. I'm just sayin'.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Jaimie Lynne - use with caution!